10/21 Score: 2
Bruh I missed my flight, The only notable achievement of the day is that I finally finished listening to Page One by Joe Henderson. Bruh I was supposed to read more but I didnt and now I hate myself. I ahve to stop.
10/20 Score: 1
Bruh Iaz dipped and the entire day went to poop
10/18 Score: 3
Cool day, got to hang out with Yuuichi, Irakli, Ivan, and Areg at the park. It felt nice but it didnt feel nostalgic really, it felt like what I was used to, probably because being in New York and Cleveland are like living in completely new worlds. I got some reading done even though I didnt get the music in. 3 it is. gn.
10/17 Score: 1
Bruh I did not do a SINGLE thing today even though I did have some time though bruh whatever i think this day deserves a 1. Ill try to wake up early tomorrow so that I can lock in gn.
10/16 Score: 2
Bruh I like did nothing until class, which i showed up late (2 mins) to due to the HCM stuff being figured out so late. Went to work for the first day. It was free until like 6. I got to know Leiton, Bryant, Brad, Joseph, and G? (forgot the girl's name whoops i didnt even get it from her but from Bryant). Ordered a milkshake. Practiced till like 10 basically. Going back to new york tomorrow. Extremely annoyed with my friends. gn.
10/15 Score: 2
Imma be honest guys I did better than I thought I would. Even though some bits messed me up I was generally able to do better than I expected to and after it was done, it was. The issue is that after I returned to my room I didn't get as much saxophone in because Oliver came in, and that kind of began my screw up throughout the whole day. I kept getting interupped and in the end I somehow did not get in the few things I wanted to. Also tomorrow I have work, which really sucks considering I thought I would not have to do a single thing after midterms for like a whole week and a half. The mistake was that I didn't immediately pick up my instrument and head to the practice rooms. The concert was fire though, and the violin soloist during the concerto actually cooked it was kind of crazy how long it was. The intonation was on point too. Is this person seriously just a case sophomore? gn. Ill lock in tomorrow before class and work. Hopefully I can get some decent listening in during work! trying to look forward to it (be positive) gn.
10/14 Score: 3
One more day and its over guys
Tomorrow is the chem midterm, and frankly, I don't know if im going to do well on it. I think im way too overconfident though considering that I learned all thermochemistry and enthalpy stuff today. Yes its 1 am right now I had to do the stupidest ENGR HW8 which, yes, I ended up doing late. Thats the 3rd late assignment so far in college (including the first lecture prep that i missed (and was not permitted to make up) due to not knowing about it).
I lost the stupid headphone case and somehow found it tracing and walking back and forth the way I came from and stuff. Was really lucky.
Anyway, Its finally over tomorrow and I can finally start meeting my goals and whatever. I just remembered the stupid upcoming essay but honestly i'm willing to just gpt it to 6 am. Its not that bad, just gotta die once.
I give this day a 3 because i was able to get in some saxophone and was able to lsiten to the album i planned to. Cya.
10/13 Score: 3
Hey guys, It has been a while. Part of me wants to delete everything I have on these websites so that I can start fresh and whatever but its honestly just something stupid which is a result of my overthinking and ill just dismiss it.
It's pretty crazy how much a person can change in a really short period of time. I realized that I should put a general statement on the main page and also on this one at the top (as a sort of general header).
I've stopped working on the YouTube channel, which I have just now noticed as I was thinking about what I may have written below. I dont really know if ill return to it. I should have never stopped honestly, but it was chewing up all of my time. I don't really know what I'm going to do with this yet, I will elaborate right below why I am not considerly very strongly of coming back to it.
Now that I think about it I should have probably started with this, but generally I am quite depressed. I think I am suffering from a sort of anomie, which is probably the most common case when it comes to this issue. Essentially, I have always thought of school as a backup, so that if I do not succeed as an artist I can still get a decent job, and I have therefore been doing the least that I have to for school. However, doing the minimum means getting A's and keeping a 4.0 (in the case that I want to transfer and whatever), and this is chewing up all of my times. I am constantly being bombarded with assessments and honestly, especially looking back to how the last stupid history essay made me feel, it is making me want to die. I am not allowed to pursue the hobbies that I am trying to, and when I do think about making some sort of progress in the things I like, I'm starting to lose sight of the point in this all. However, I think the main issue is, as I stated earlier, anomie, and I think I just need a few close friends.
And quite frankly, I never thought I'd be saying something so corny, but I need a girlfriend bruh. All my life I've rejected the sexual aspect of humanity. I've only seen it as an evil, addictive distraction. But now I've accepted that I kind of need a girlfriend, even if I don't plan to have sex until marriage.
Anyway, biggest update is that I've decided that I will only tackle the most essential of my hobbies. Right now I am only working on Jazz and reading. So far Ive only been able to successfully do the Jazz part. Which sucks. But ill work on it and hopefully Ill start putting stuff back.
Also today is the day I put the notes on my wall to measure progress.
The reason I gave this day a 3 (not a 2) is because I actually did some transcribing of a solo that is quite difficult, and I think I managed to stay on task better generally, even if the total work I got done was quite little.
I'll try not to make these entries so long form now on. Chem quiz (probably) and Math test tomorrow. Chem test on wednesday. Honestly I just want it all over. I already cant take it anymore.
Im back to say before I go to the bathroom and sleep that Ill be going back to the no device in room method until after 8-9pm whatever so that I can lock in at KSL whatever. Idk what im doing anymore.
9/21 Score: 4
Sorry for the long hiatus guys. It's actually me writing from the next day. I realized i should probably get this in because it is the start of a new week. I have started a new thing (last wednesday because i had tests on tuesday) where i leave my laptop and phone in my desk drawer until around 8pm. It has boosted my productivity significantly. I only break this rule when I take my computer out to use in the practice room. I make sure I dont use my devices until I am out of the room (i just realized i am breaking this rule right now LOL).
Anyway today I did nothing until like 1 pm when I got really mad and decided to meet with Areeb at KSL to lock in and stuff for chem (until 4:30(?), when we got out to eat at tink at the meditarannean restaurant then i went back to study until like 6:45 or something(hour and 45 mins)). Didn't get the work i had to get done by the end of the weekend (oh bruh what am i gonna do) but I did complete two practice sheets? leaving two left (or 3 hopefully 2 though). I still have to watch the lectures (the big thing i had to get done by tomorrow), do the discussion sheet, and take the practice test, all of which I have only 2 days left to complete. A bit screwed. I am trying to become more literate and work on my music and stuff like that.
Speaking of which, I have actually been able to lock in extremely hard with regards to music (hence why I rated this day a 4/5). On thursday I practiced for like 2-3 hours?(i dont remember) On friday 4 (sax and piano btw), yesterday 3, and today 2 and a half. 75 minutes of which I spent warming up/doing exercises. I should go to sleep soon.
I realized my english literacy skills and comprehension is very low. I took a scholastic reading suggestion list thing to get a list of books I should read. I'm going to start reading Hole by Louis Sachar, with a Lexile® Measure of 660L (8th grade reading skill). I remember reading this a long time ago, and honestly I have to start somewhere. So here I am. I will also be reading light novels suggested by that one article thing i found online some time ago. Bruh imma try to find that then sleep cya gn.
Okay i found the list, its from a book called "ライトノベル50年・読んでおきたい100冊". The description of the book on Amazon states: ■本書でご紹介するライトノベル
「クラッシャージョウ」(高千穂遥)
「星へ行く船」(新井素子)
「なんて素敵にジャパネスク」(氷室冴子)
「妖精作戦」(笹本祐一)
「異次元騎士カズマ」(王領寺静)
「ロードス島戦記」(水野良 / 原案:安田均)
「フォーチュン・クエスト」(深沢美潮)
「風の大陸」(竹河聖)
「女戦士エフェラ&ジリオラ」(ひかわ玲子)
「スレイヤーズ」(神坂一)
「ゴクドーくん漫遊記」(中村うさぎ)
「〈蓬莱学園〉シリーズ」(新城十馬(現:新城カズマ))
「ザンヤルマの剣士」(麻生俊平)
「十二国記」(小野不由美)
「〈卵王子〉カイルロッドの苦難」(冴木忍)
「それゆけ!宇宙戦艦ヤマモト・ヨーコ」(庄司卓)
「ソーサラー狩り 爆れつハンター」(あかほりさとる)
「魔術士オーフェン はぐれ旅」(秋田禎信)
「タイム・リープ あしたはきのう」(高畑京一郎)
「ブラックロッド」(古橋秀之)
「〈ブギーポップ〉シリーズ」(上遠野浩平)
「マリア様がみてる」(今野緒雪)
「ラグナロク」(安井健太郎)
「フルメタル・パニック!」(賀東招二)
「キノの旅 the Beautiful World」(時雨沢恵一)
「R.O.D」(倉田英之)
「トリニティ・ブラッド」(吉田直)
「イリヤの空、UFOの夏」(秋山瑞人)
「まぶらほ」(築地俊彦)
「〈戯言〉シリーズ」(西尾維新)
「悪魔のミカタ」(うえお久光)
「伝説の勇者の伝説」(鏡貴也)
「灼眼のシャナ」(高橋弥七郎)
「〈涼宮ハルヒ〉シリーズ」(谷川流)
「撲殺天使ドクロちゃん」(おかゆまさき)
「しにがみのバラッド。」(ハセガワケイスケ)
「半分の月がのぼる空」(橋本紡)
「彩雲国物語」(雪乃紗衣)
「塩の街 wish on my precious」(有川浩(現:有川ひろ))
「とある魔術の禁書目録」(鎌池和馬)
「デュラララ!!」(成田良悟)
「空の境界」(奈須きのこ)
「ゼロの使い魔」(ヤマグチノボル(第20巻まで) / 志瑞祐(第21巻以降))
「乃木坂春香の秘密」(五十嵐雄策)
「砂糖菓子の弾丸は撃ちぬけない A Lollypop or A Bullet」(桜庭一樹)
「アスラクライン」(三雲岳斗)
「レイン」(吉野匠)
「狼と香辛料」(支倉凍砂)
「とらドラ!」(竹宮ゆゆこ)
「〈“文学少女""〉シリーズ」(野村美月)
「バカとテストと召喚獣」(井上堅二)
「人類は衰退しました」(田中ロミオ)
「嘘つきみーくんと壊れたまーちゃん」(入間人間)
「生徒会の一存」(葵せきな)
「俺の妹がこんなに可愛いわけがない」(伏見つかさ)
「境界線上のホライゾン」(川上稔)
「ハイスクールD×D」(石踏一榮)
「ソードアート・オンライン」(川原礫)
「這いよれ!ニャル子さん」(逢空万太)
「IS〈インフィニット・ストラトス〉」(弓弦イズル)
「僕は友達が少ない」(平坂読)
「東京レイヴンズ」(あざの耕平)
「まおゆう魔王勇者」(橙乃ままれ)
「やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている。」(渡航)
「デート・ア・ライブ」(橘公司)
「ビブリア古書堂の事件手帖」(三上延)
「魔法科高校の劣等生」(佐島勤)
「ノーゲーム・ノーライフ」(榎宮祐)
「魔法少女育成計画」(遠藤浅蜊)
「オーバーロード」(丸山くがね)
「冴えない彼女の育てかた」(丸戸史明)
「薬屋のひとりごと」(日向夏)
「ダンジョンに出会いを求めるのは間違っているだろうか」(大森藤ノ)
「落第騎士の英雄譚」(海空りく)
「盾の勇者の成り上がり」(アネコユサギ)
「この素晴らしい世界に祝福を!」(暁なつめ)
「Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活」(長月達平)
「無職転生～異世界行ったら本気だす～」(理不尽な孫の手)
「告白予行練習」(藤谷燈子(第5巻まで) / 香坂茉里(第6巻以降) / 原案:HoneyWorks)
「〈青春ブタ野郎〉シリーズ」(鴨志田一)
「転生したらスライムだった件」(伏瀬)
「異世界居酒屋「のぶ」」(蝉川夏哉)
「本好きの下剋上～司書になるためには手段を選んでいられません～」(香月美夜)
「ようこそ実力至上主義の教室へ」(衣笠彰梧)
「ありふれた職業で世界最強」(白米良)
「乙女ゲームの破滅フラグしかない悪役令嬢に転生してしまった…」(山口悟)
「りゅうおうのおしごと!」(白鳥士郎)
「ゴブリンスレイヤー」(蝸牛くも)
「弱キャラ友崎くん」(屋久ユウキ)
「86-エイティシックス-」(安里アサト)
「異世界のんびり農家」(内藤騎之介)
「ひげを剃る。そして女子高生を拾う。」(しめさば)
「七つの魔剣が支配する」(宇野朴人)
「魔導具師ダリヤはうつむかない～今日から自由な職人ライフ～」(甘岸久弥)
「陰の実力者になりたくて!」(逢沢大介)
「お隣の天使様にいつの間にか駄目人間にされていた件」(佐伯さん)
「千歳くんはラムネ瓶のなか」(裕夢)
「わたしが恋人になれるわけないじゃん、ムリムリ!(※ムリじゃなかった!？)」(みかみてれん)
「時々ボソッとロシア語でデレる隣のアーリャさん」(燦々SUN)
「VTuberなんだが配信切り忘れたら伝説になってた」(七斗七)
ok gn.
9/3 Score: 3
Lots of stuff to be done today. I woke up and recorded minecraft footage. Got to class a bit late and stuff, kind of didnt know about the history quiz. However, I checked at the start of the class my youtube studio to see that my video that I had uploaded yesterday got 20 views. Now i checked again and it has 30 views, with a 1:15 average watchtime. I also gained 2 subscribers!!! bruh idk i have a feeling this is too neiche and that I might not get many subs unless I start making really interesting content. Idk. I also feel a little bit upset that I told Iaz about the channel, who also told his brother under my permission. I want to think that him telling his brother is independent but i did tell iaz he can tell his brother after he asked me. Bruh. FRICK!!!
9/2 Score: 2/
Okay this is Kamil from 9/3 writing, I woke up early, recorded asmr, and uploaded a video, which i scheduled for 6pm, i did the title and stuff later on and stuff yeah. Also I found out i missed an ENGR assigment and I already have a 35% in the class. Played arsenal with the boys, and kind of stayed up late doing homework.
9/1 Score: 2/
Today i kinda did nothing but its mostly because everything took so long. The asmr video i made. Too high quality so i can omly hope i get good returns.
8/21 Score: 1
Today was fun. I had the meeting in the morning in that room, me euan and vincent went to fribley mad early and waited to get food. i returned to my dorm to study a bit, didnt lock in, went to the music ensemble info session, visited the practice rooms, and went back to my room. I played a bit of taiko and now I am in the room doing more work. I listened to JJJohnson who is kind of goated ngl. mom just called me asking for pictures and stuff but I realized I dont have any of my lunch with my friends. yes i missed the job fair. Yes i heard it was buns (thankfully so i dont have to feel bad for missing out).
8/20 Score: 2
An issue ive been coming across is that I get tired and forget what im supposed to be doing. Its supposed to be a fight for time but i forget what im supposed to be doing in this time. I cant do the things I want because I fear what my roommate would think of me, so I technically dont have my own room and stuff and it all sucks. I actually thought writing here would help me remember but it doesnt imma go piss and take a nap even though oliver is studying with the lights and stuff fully on idk what to do.
Okay i napped im gonna do work now maybe some math and maybe a video cuz oliver is on the bed and I can hopefully lock in.
8/19 Score: 1
Yesterday I had a meeting, did the tour, game, and photo thing, and then went to fribley to eat with euan and vincent, and then my parents picked me up and we went to a cafe at which we ordered matcha ice cream, brown sugar boba, and this sparkling rose drink. we went to the book store before this actually. it was raining. i called my grandparents from poland at the cafe and then we returned to my dorm to bring my stuff that they bought for me then we did the bike and did the form and picked up the lock and then they dropped off me and oliver to the steiner hall or whatever for the meeting and then i went carzy about what rehan said then we went to the food again and then i was tortured then we went to the sports thing then i tried to go to the board games place by myself and failed and then I ended up going home because someone told me it wasnt worth going to then i went home played taiko and signed up for badminton club and went to sleep.
8/18 Score: 1
I dont think I can get much work done today, which means it was good that I scheduled a video yesterday for today. I just woke up feeling incredibly homesick. I cant believe I have to be here for so much longer. It seems that no matter where i go ill probably feel the same. Ill try my best though and I will push myself
8/17 Score: 2
Today I woke up and uploaded a video in the hotel room and decded to schedule an upload for tomorrow because I might be busy. If not Ill make a video tomorrow for the next day. I thought to myself that I will speed make prepare and schedule 10 of these cheap videos and start making minecraft asmr content which I will make over some time so I can keep up with the daily uploads. Ill put making the minecraft skin on my todo.
Oh my goodness, this is me from the next day. Yesterday was pretty wild, I was able to make a few friends and I met with my roommate who is pretty chill but not too easy to get too casual with, rehan and his roommate who are already buddy buddy even though his roommate doesnt seem like that kind of person, but I dont know i unpacked everything and stuff was cool. I was not able to do anything more than this what I did though.
8/16 Score: 1
I was quite busy today. Packed up for school and thought that I would lock in once I got to the car but my speed has been really low. Ill make the thumbnail and upload the video soon.
Im really mad at myself for today. I wasnt able to get a video out simply because my hotspot signal was too weak the entire ride and i fell asleep before in the middle of loading something; I already broke my streak and im very upset about that.
8/15 Score: 4
Today I wake up knowing that I was going to make a youtube channel. The issue was that I could see myself making the channel and just gooning and not making the first video, so I gave myself an hour to make the channel and do everything that i needed without stopping. I was able to record three different recordings, and decided to release the crappiest content i could. The making of the thumnail was of course the hardest and I think it took me about 40 minutes (with the 2 extra recordings). I got Iaz to subscribe and like the video and stuf, and I somehow got 2 + 1 (his + some additional one? I dont remember watching the video myself) so thats good I guess. I am trying to upload a video a day.